getting away from negativity and..... a blast from the past

Recently I have gotten letters from family members that I no longer communicate with, after all the history and their horrible behavior when I left my abusive marriage, and when another letter was pulled from the mailbox yesterday I just felt angry and sad. We were on our way out to my new adventuremobile to drive to Behnke's Nursery in the rain to get some flowering plants for a painting workshop, and it took me a little while of talking through the hurt during the drive to shake it off for the day. To never have had a family of origin that loved and protected me is one of the saddest things that has ever happened to me, and they STILL don't get it.

We arrived at the garden center and we walked around, me camera in hand, looking at everything and soaking up the smell of earth and moss and green, and the sound of falling water. We were deep in conversation in the succulent room when I realized I was standing in front of a table of pencil cactus cuttings.... a plant from my old life that I had cherished because the tree that I eventually grew came from cuttings from two good artist friends of mine from the women's caucus for art. I had patios full of lush plants and people loved coming to my home and spending time surrounded by green living things. It did my soul good.

I had always wanted this pencil cactus plant back in my life, but had never found any to purchase. Two immediately landed in my cart at Behnke's, soon to be joined by a quirky miniature ficus tree with an exposed knee that can live in my studio. Pots and soil and fertilizer and bags of little gravelly stones all went into the cart next, along with little flowering plants for a watercolor workshop, and this is all remarkable because after a lifetime of loving and growing and tending plants........ I had just..... stopped (growing plants)..... when I moved here... out of sadness and not wanting to OWN anything any more that could be taken away from me once again. The memory of stolen possessions is still strong.

It felt like no accident that these plants should come back to me on a day of emotional upset caused once again by my family of origin, and the day felt brighter and happier because of the pencil cactus' return. I am DETERMINED to not allow bad energy to affect me any more, and the time that I have left in life is going to be spent being happy and looking at the bright side of things with my glass full to overflowing, and nothing and nobody is going to drag me down.

That is one of the huge positives in moving my studio out of the art center.... the political games and end-running and manipulations perpetrated by just a few people had cast such a pall in the last few months of my time there, and were such a drain on my energy as I worked to watch over the artist program, that to be away from it all has been a tremendous gift and relief. I also made sure that in packing possessions for the move that no item associated with any negative energy made the move to my new space, and on the day of the move had a "giveaway table" for all my mover friends to sort through, and they all went home with armfuls of beautiful new treasures that they could enjoy and nothing went to waste.

So I have new plants to pot and will once again have my hands in soil, and some new plant friends will live with me at the studio.... and another little piece of me is working on being healed and saved and fixed.... and maybe eventually there will not be so many bandaids and the joy will flow even easier. It is all about joy. I continue to be a work-in-progress, but decisions made in recent months are going a long way toward helping me be the best I can be for myself, to allow a gentle place for me that feels safe and right, and to surround myself with goodness. I cannot ask for any more than that.

visitors

A good friend of mine came to visit the studio yesterday while Virginia and I were there and we spent a couple of hours catching up on our latest news. It was a great day and I am so glad she came by.... everybody is having such a positive reaction to the new space and I basically just cannot stop grinning. I started work on the commission yesterday afternoon...... so the first paint has hit the canvas and life returns to normal!

If you don't mind my needing a little more furniture in the gallery space, feel free to give me a call and schedule your visit!

a coffeehouse vibe

Yesterday a good friend of mine, who owns a gallery and design business and stages houses, came by the new studio and gallery to visit and have brunch with me. She has offered to put together some furniture for the gallery/workshop/discussion space and I told her that I want to create a sort of coffeehouse vibe.... very comfy and cozy where people want to sit and talk for hours. By the end of this month she will put together some furniture for the space, and I am so excited to see what she picks out.

Does this mean I need to learn to make good coffee????

since I left

Soon I will be making my first visit back to the art center since I cleaned up my space and turned in my keys. In recent months there have been many challenges there and when the temporary director resigned suddenly (just before my decision to relocate was finalized) things became a lot more challenging. Since then the gallery shop has been closed, most of the good and talented staff has been let go, and there is no leadership left. The resident artists are still on the second floor, and I have some hope that the program will survive as it has been an income producer from the very beginning, but the once vibrant organization that I first volunteered for, then worked for, became a resident artist and board member for.... is no more.

This place, which I originally found in the basement of a plaza downtown, relocated to a light industrial area when town center was being built, and I began to volunteer at that time in a weird location that we made work as an art center and gallery. I built my new life around this place. When the new town center was completed and opened we moved into the shiny new space, and it seemed the sky was the limit. Even up until a few months ago I had every hope that the art center would find a way to re-group and survive, but those hopes have dimmed and faded. Change will be coming, in what form is still unclear, and I will do what I can to support the resident artists program... peopled with some exceptional and talented creative souls.... in hopes that it can continue on.

done with a sketch

(client's image for reference)

I have finished the sketch for the commissioned painting of Lupines.... a flower that is new to me and hard to find good images of.... luckily the client provided all the images I needed because I could not even find a book about lupines online. This is the fourth in a series of paintings for the collector's mountaintop home, and I am looking forward to beginning the painting in the new studio. It is finally time to get back to work and I have so much to do!

if it is March Spring cannot be far away!

March 1st snuck up on me yesterday..... as I was waking up and doing my morning computer work it suddenly dawned on me that if it was the first, I had a newsletter that needed to go out! Egads! It has been such a busy, eventful time that it nearly slipped my mind. The tricky part was that with everything going on I had not written the newsletter yet:):):):) I STILL need that intern!!!!!

I put together the newsletter, along with pictures of the new space and the floorplan and a map, and ZOOOOOOMMM....... out it went to friends and relatives and collectors who always expect the newsletter in their inbox at the beginning of each month.

A letter arrived in my inbox yesterday from my good friend Mary on the left coast. When I was making the HUGE decision whether or not to stay at the art center I had written to her... all the details that I have not gone into here... and the letter she wrote back warmed my heart and reminded me of the grace that surrounds me in my life, and the good friends who are always there for me.

I am seeing some tiny buds on the tall trees outside of our apartment building here in the burbs of DC... and I cannot WAIT for Spring this year. Lots of pictures to take and experiences to have. Life is so good.